Out of Touch

Now that the school is done, we're out job hunting for the summer as we try to figure out whether God plans for us to be in Rock Hill or not. The process of beating the bushes has made me increasingly aware of an unusual trend in job applications... a wholly online application process.

Now, I want to be careful about my own opinions, since it's very easy to get righteously indignant about perceived shortcomings that directly affect us. Additionally, I could get so focused on these perceived limitations that I ignore God's sovereignty and care for us.

Still, I do find this trend interesting and potentially disturbing. In these situations, the entire application is designed and managed by the employer and is accessible only online. There are several advantages to this method. For one, companies can take in a huge number of applications without getting bogged down. Additionally, as one friend pointed out, this allows them to instantly screen applicants who cannot meet their availability requirements or such. And by tailoring the application process, they can weight and measure certain attributes that are most important to them.

The troubling part of this process is that eliminates the human interaction factor. I've noticed that companies who do online applications will not even talk to you. They simply promise to review your application, which from what I can tell means they see what the computer says about your application, good or bad. So in a service industry, where personality and communication skill are vital to success, an applicant has little opportunity to showcase his skill. Likewise, there is little chance to showcase intellect, teachable nature, drive and desire; etc. For instance, I know that on paper, my application looks risky in some regards. I'm about to have a Masters degree, which suggests that I would leap at the chance to find someplace better. What doesn't show up is that I'm looking for a means to commit to the area and serve my church here. If I can speak with no one, then how do I convey this desire?

Another interesting aspect is the personality test that is often included in online applications. The application asks a series of questions to get a sense of the applicant's work ethic, work style, instincts; etc. However, these questions are very basic, allowing no explanation of one's views, and certain questions are repeated, though phrased differently (in an effort to catch people who are intentionally lying about their views). My problem here is that the questions carry implicit nuances which the employers don't really seem to care about. For instance, do I like people? Yes, very much. Do I like being alone? Yes, because I have to get away to recharge. Do I like spending time with groups of people? Yes, I love group interaction, but do I like being in the middle of large crowds? No, I find them much more impersonal. My only way of improving things is to strike up conversation with strangers so that I'm not alone in a throng. Answers like these could be seen as contradictory on a superficial level, and I know in a couple of cases, I had to redo an application because these tests threw out my application.

There are major limitations, I think, but my deeper concern comes from wondering if we aren't stripping ourselves of human contact, interaction, and camaraderie. In our quest to streamline and speed life, every time we insulate ourselves from the messiness of personal communication, I fear we begin to forget how to truly know one another and be known. By association, I wonder if this helps make our jobs less personal: more focused on only hours, tasks, and paychecks. In so doing, does this not threaten to strip core meaning from our labors?

I need to think about this more, but I'll try to add another post later on a Christian response and focus to our work in these ultra-modern times.
Jon

Sold!!

I sold my first sewing project EVER!!!!

I never thought etsy.com would be profitable, since it is so HUGE and has so many crafters who are more talented than I am, but lo and behold my little shop did it! It feels incredibly validating.

My two most recent projects though have gotten by far the best reviews. Hopefully I'll get the pics to post in a couple days.

Old Endings and New Beginnings

I guess I'm still coming to terms with impending graduation. It's strange to realize that being a student has been on of the most dominant traits of my life. The only thing I've been for longer than my 28 years of study is single. And I guess that in itself is a comfort, since being married has turned out so beautifully. Still, it's a big chapter closing. I'll still be given to reading and personal study, but it's hard to imagine returning to formal schooling. I'm not a true academic to go for a phd. and a D. Min. seems like it would be largely vanity, since personal study and discipleship with Godly men can accomplish the same ends.

In some small way, I grieve for the loss of these days that have been so wonderful. But I wouldn't continue even if I could. I'm far too eager to be about the business I believe God designed me to do. There's the rub. God has a funny way of systematically stripping us of the needless things which we hold dear, thrusting us into uncertainty that we may find Him sufficient. We've gone through so much of that financially that it's almost commonplace now, and you begin to feel you truly know how to trust God. Then He brings a new wave of change, a different aspect of that same dependence, a new chance to respond in faith.

That's the great comfort and joy. he knows the end from the beginning. He has seen all of it, and there are no surprises to Him. The process of revelation and growth may seem achingly slow, but the end is sure. He knows me and I will know Him. This is the dawn of a new chapter of His grace. So, I'm sad to say goodbye to His past kindness, but I'm excited to see His coming ones.

Being sick.

There is a dramatic difference between being sick when you're young, and being sick when you're married.

I started to get sick last Monday. The onslaught was slow, the big symptoms were slow, and the recovery has been, well, excruciating. Finally, a week and a half later, I don't hate every breath I have to fight for, and I'm down to less than a pack a day.. A pack of tissues that is.

When I'm sick, I want attention, chocolate. To rest, but only when I'm ready to. I have to keep busy, but I will be incredibly pitiful too.

Two days ago it started to hit Jon. If you know Jon, you know he doesn't do sick well. Unlike me, he can get fevers, and when he gets them, they're bad. When Jon's sick, he sleeps, shivers, mumbles, eats occasionally, but doesn't need much.

When he sick, I take care of him the best I can. When I'm sick, Jon tries to cater to me. But nights like Thursday night, when we're both sick....who takes care of who?

A good answer, if hard

By this point, most people already know the basic result of our trip to Swannsboro, but I had some time during my school day to give a little more detailed story for the legions of people who obsess over our lives but try not to show it.

Back in December, I responded to a post on the RTS job board for a senior/solo pastor job at a small church in Swannsboro, NC (coastal town near the Camp Lejuene Marine Base). Well, after many questions and 3 phone interviews, we were invited to come out for a candidate weekend March 19th-21st.

We knew going in this was not our ideal image, since I would've preferred an associate pastor's job and this small church has no budget to pay any pastor in the near term. Also, there were some secondary matters of doctrine (nothing different on the Gospel) where I thought we might differ. And having come out of a small church that has been struggling for a while, I'm very aware of some institutional problems that can crop up with tired people. Still,this was a church who was interested in us, in an area that has some appeal, with seemingly loads of opportunities; etc. So we figured the worst that could happen was God would use it for experience in the search/interview process. And what an experience it was!

I knew but didn't understand how draining these kind of trips are, and I'm so glad that our pastor recommended we specifically ask to be house in a motel. Being the "new puppy", even in love, is exhausting, but Ken was right that having private housing gave a chance to both rest and review throughout the time.

We had to leave straight from work at RTS Friday, so things did not begin particularly joyfully. Traffic leaving Charlotte was pretty much as slow and painful as you might expect, and near Rockingham, I missed a speed limit trap going from 70 to 55 which a highway patrol officer was generous enough to correct. Still, we got in just after 11 and were able to get plenty of rest.

Our motel overlooked the coastal waterway just at the edge of the island chain (Emerald Isle, Indian Beach; etc.) that makes up the southern end of the Outer Banks area. So we had a beautiful relaxing morning of staring at the sights of the sea. Then we met with the current pastor (retiring for health reasons) and elder and their wives. After some fun conversation, we had a whirlwind tour our the local area, including housing opportunities, and then we were back to the church to meet the committee and to the motel for a brief rest.

When we met with the search committee in the afternoon, we began to see more of the issues come to light. For one, they had very few questions, most of theirs having been answered in our phone interviews, but in what they asked and didn't, they reinforced the notion that they are tired... maybe even a bit desperate. As I began working through the list of questions I had prepared (thanks again to Ken's aid), it was clear that they didn't have answers for several points and hadn't really begun to explore them, even having the prepared list for almost 2 weeks in advance. I was glad to see a glimmer of clearer understanding, as they said one of things they needed most in a pastor is vision, but in their answers to what the church needed, they seemed circumstantially and internally focused (things like getting more people and better signage for visibility). Most importantly, we noticed some philosophy of ministry differences that I wholeheartedly agree with in principle (eg. worship is not about entertainment), but the practice of which we would disagree.

That evening, they hosted a church wide dinner in our honor, and if love and food alone made our decision for us, we'd be packing for Swannsboro now. While, being the center of so much attention may be tiring for us, I'm sure they pushed themselves to treat us well, and it showed. They were wholly welcoming and gave us plenty of time to meet everyone and taste everyone's cooking, and they can definitely cook! In all, they are a delightful bunch showing the spirit of love love that is a hallmark of the church.

Sunday, we enjoyed another beautiful morning and then headed over to take part in their morning worship. They had me teach their Sunday School hour, though normally they rotate the responsibility between a few men, and I also gave the Sunday sermon for their worship service. I kept things simple, using material I had prepared for other preaching/teaching opportunities. For the Sunday school hour, we went through the closing verses of Acts 2, looking at the basic principles of the early church (devotion to teaching, breaking bread, fellowship, and prayer) and their outgrowths (visible signs, joy, "communism", favor, new converts; etc.). In the main service, I preached from 2 Tim. 2:1-7 on the heart of pastoral and all Christian ministry. God was good that both were clear and succinct, with good reception from the people.

The worship style was different from what I am familiar but beautiful nonetheless. They use a more formal service, with structured meditation (creeds, church fathers; etc.) and Bible readings, as well as a morning devotional reminder from one of the men (an interesting way of mentoring all the men in teaching at some level). The songs were a mix of classic hymns, mostly familiar, and Psalms (mostly to unfamiliar tunes). I loved the inclusion of the Psalms. We don't do that enough. And as so often happens, the Holy Spirit was at work guiding the pastor's wife in preparing the order of worship so that it meshed perfectly with the message I was preaching.

In all, it was an excellent visit, but we quickly began to sense that God was moving us away from Swannsboro. The first day, after our meeting with the committee, I was getting uneasy about the issues and wondering if I was a good fit for what they needed. When I asked Chantelle's opinion, she said exactly what I was thinking... great area, people and opportunities, but there would be some major issues to fight through that they weren't facing, and it would be a battle... one she was convinced we were equipped to take in our first assignment. I was pretty confident right then that God was beginning to give us an answer. Sunday gave us more of the same, despite the good time with the people. It was even more painful to say it but more reassured, I'm not God's guy for them.

Once we got home, we gave it until Friday to make our decision. The church was ready to vote on me the following Sunday, and we wanted to have answer ready for them before then. Over the days, we didn't get anything different in prayer or counsel and 3 different sources gave me confirmation. So, that Friday, I called and asked to be removed from consideration.

I don't think either Chantelle or I would characterize the visit as anything but positive, despite the result. We ended things with Swannsboro Bible Church on very good terms, and we got better insight into questions we need to ask and answer and the type of ministry position God may be leading me into. Best of all for me, God spoke very clearly to us both in the same way, so we have great confidence that he's guiding wherever we end up.

Recent sewing exploits

As previously noted, one of my new missions as a proper married lady is to learn how to sew. This is a bit of a start and go project. Most of the "going" is when I browse the fabric store and get fantastic ideas. Most of the "stopping" is when I can't figure out why the bobbin is making a strange noise, why the fabric is getting crinkled in the machine, and why the result looks more like a hairball than a sock.

Here are some of my first projects:

The cute and flirty dress. Still in need of some adjustments, but the first thing I've sewn and worn in public!


Booties that I made for a baby shower. This was so much cheaper and more fun than picking something off the registry!






And just finished tonight: a professional skirt just in the nick of time (and the nick of colors) for valentines day!

Which is more complicated?

I don't know which is more difficult to understand..... My husband or my sewing machine.