My grandma Shirley is my mom's mom. A couple years ago she moved in with them. I get to see her about once a month now, more so than I have ever seen a grandparent. A few months ago my grandma was having trouble using the bathroom. Surgery was able to alleviate the problem, but the scans showed "something." It took months of spaced out doctors appointments to finally draw the conclusion we all had feared.
Her cancer was aggressive, but treatable with a primitive form of Chemo. She was weak already, but after the first round I'd never seen her so lifeless. I kept remembering how when I was twelve we climbed halfway up Grandfather Mountain together. Now she takes a break from walking outside to her bed.
On Thursday I heard she decided to stop the chemo treatments. To be honest, I never thought she would start them. I think she'll be much less miserable without them. But it's hard to hear that I may not be able to give her a Christmas present. I pray she'll get to see her great grandchild, born sometime in November (by way of my sister, not me!)
She'll be the first person close to me that I'll have lost, and that's hard. But I can't help but think of all the good things God is doing with this. She'll be so much happier in heaven. She won't be brought down by the troubles of our time. For the first time since childhood, all her children will be around her this weekend. Some will speak to eachother for the first time in years.
Grandma, I love you. I want to cherish ever memory we've had together, and strive for every single one we can make. I pray your suffering is light, and your heavenly reward is great.
Monday, September 21, 2009
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