Thursday, May 7, 2009

Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Moods

One thing I want to do with this blog is troubleshoot things that Jon and I come to, things that give us bumps and hurdles. Hopefully I will be able to tell how we got around it, and how we're working to make our marriage stronger despite these relationship strengthening experiences.

I, like nearly every every XX chromosome carrying creature, have a mariad of things that influence my moods. Sometimes the moods are petty, other times they seriously interfere with my ability to be a good wife. I am trying to identify and heal these moods, while Jon is being patient and trying to figure out how to help them.

There's the napping mood. I'm not a happy camper when waking up from a nap. Jon is usually very nice by being the one to wake me up, just in time (or after a few extra minutes :) ) Usually I swat at him as he tries to wake me up jovially. In my sleepy haze I am infinitely annoyed at him. He's come to accept this as a consistent happening, and I've learned to appologize afterward and express my gratitude for putting up with me. I think we've got this one ironed out.

There are the kooky moods. Whether I've had too much caffiene, not enough sleep, or too much time indoors, there are times when I need to get out, go some where, have a craving to do something specific, or just need to express madness. These are trickier moods. I know I need to identify exactly what I need to calm me, because Jon is very willing to do whatever it takes to help me cool down...if only I could figure out what that is. I also need to figure out how to control these moods. Sometimes it is simply not feasible to amuse my moods, and that's when I have to take responsibility for myself and get over it. How? You ask? Currently my only solutions are prayer, alone time, and writing out my emotions. I'm willing to take suggestions.

There are nasty moods. This past Sunday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. For some reason I became annoyed with everything. Annoyed with the milk, annoyed with the sun, annoyed with Jon watching TV instead of eating breakfast with me...everything. With this devilish spirit in me, I didn't feel much like talking to people, being nice, and worst of all for a Sunday, facing God. When I finally confessed to Jon that I was in a mood, things got easier and harder. He was able to realize that I wasn't serious about the snippy comments that kept coming out. But it also meant he wanted to help me figure out this mood, when usually I like to go hide and just let moods pass. But I'm married now. Moods like that one can't just exist and be ignored. I have to get over my selfish, unexplainable annoyances and get on with it. I don't know how or why, but I can't use raging hormones as an excuse to be rude to those I love, or to keep me from worship.

So my point is thus: You can't control when you get into a funky mood, but you can control how you let it affect you. That's what I'm trying to do, with God's help and Jon's patience.