Different people

This blog was originally started to help keep our friends and family updated on how Jon and I were learning to live, love, and grow together. I know we've gotten away from that in recent posts, so I hope this blog re-establishes our original goal.

I don't know that growing is ever easy. If you consider the growing your body does, it is often painful. Teething is excruciating, puberty is a mess of discomfort, growth spurts bring unpleasant stretch marks. I have to believe that emotional growth is the same way. As Jon and I grow together as God intended us to be "one," we hit challenging, and sometimes painful obstacles.

Most recently, we've struggled with a startling simple concept. Though we have some remarkable similarities, we get along very well, and we have so much common ground, we are still different people. There are some ways in which we are not now (and may never be) alike.

For instance: Jon will eat nearly anything labeled as "food" that is put in front of him. I'm different. I only have about four vegetables I'll eat, and I'm generally skeptical of new foods.
Or: When Jon's stressed he likes to unwind with some video games, or chill in front of a good movie. I like to release all my energy by getting out and having some fun.
Or: Jon is very open minded at trying new things. He may not like it, but he's willing to give it a shot (in most cases, dancing excluded), even if it makes him uncomfortable. I am shy in new situations, particularly with new people.

Is it ok to be different? Is either person's approach better than the other? Well, we're each going to think our own idea is better, so we better get out the fencing swords now to decide a winner. (just kidding...we do NOT endorse sword play as an effect counseling technique).

Instead what I think we're coming to realize is to be aware of each other's differences. Try not to put each other in istuations that cause discomfort. Be understanding to the other persons restrictions. At the same time we can try to introduce new activities that introduce the other person into something that is uncomfortable just to see if they like it.

Jon could suggest new veggies or new recipies to try, just to see if I like more foods than I think I like (he'll never win the battle of peas though, I strictly refuse).
Or we can manage stress together. Maybe I'll sit and play video games with him for an hour, before we go out bowling.
Or we can try new things in small doses, so that Jon can enjoy his social situations, but I can have time to get used to the new people. Maybe we could go take swing lessons with some of his friends and hit the best of both worlds.

Whether you're just dating, or married for 50 years like Nikki's Gparents, I think husband and wife will always be "one flesh" but still different people. That's ok. Just respect your differences, and be willing to get out of your comfort zone.